another day

one lazy afternoon, when the sun was shaded and the air smelled grass, i found myself gazing at the passing cars outside the coffee shop to where i was located. and for a moment, i realized that i was feeling a bit empty as i puffed the clouds of nicotine from my winston lights cigarette.

the girl adjacent to my coffee table did not help either when she asked if i am working for a real estate company. i am not holding anything except for a big black bag that i always carry.

" mukha na ba ako ahente?"

" di naman." she replied.

it must be the bag i guess.

few hours before this lazy afternoon...i spent my time doing nothing... (well i did a lot of things actually but i dare not to say that for privacy purposes)...which made me ponder if i am still on the right track.

I'm living a double-sided life and I'm afraid because i know from the very beginning that what i did....and still doing is wrong.


but i know i want it....and that makes it difficult.

in this side of eternity, we are often faced with difficult choices in life...like making the right career move, breaking up with a loved one.....and choosing to be happy.

but at the end of the day...what matters most is how fair you played the game....


i sighed and lit another cigarette upon thinking these thoughts...

it took me some time before i finally wrote the next remaining words...






i am not the same person that i used to be.





it's different now i guess...