Remembering Mcdo (for josh)

I lost a friend 3 months ago.

He died at the young age of 22 from a drug called Tylenol – The medicine experts classify as pain relievers. He was overdosed and it was too late for a treatment because it got to his system already destroying his internal organs in the process. 7 days he stayed in the hospital but his body was too weak to respond to anything. The only thing left for me to do was go to the hospital and say goodbye.

But goodbyes indeed were hard to say. I felt the heaviness right inside struggling to break free from my eyes as I watched his body from afar. I just can’t look at him for I would like to remember him the way I’ve always known him--- alive and full of hopes and dreams.

While I was there in the hospital trying to be a friend for the last time, I pictured those days when he used to be at the top of his game. I can see no traces of agony in his face as he discussed to me his plans for his college org. it could be a challenging job to juggle both academic and extra curricular activities but he managed to get through it—with style. And I must admit that I envy that zest in life that he once had.

I ended up in real estate after college. I even invited my friend to join me in the industry because I believed that he can do it. And yes he knew how to get that sale. My boss even compared me to him believing that he will become my greatest rival. Game on pal. That’s what I thought.

But he didn’t stay long in real estate. And after that short stint in the industry, our usual tambay sessions with the rest of the Gimik gang became scarce. He lived in a different world – totally opposite to what he used to. But I never saw a problem with that for I know that he’s such a strong person. He’ll manage. And we will meet again with that familiar beam of success.

We even had a short vacation in laguna last holy week. I thought he was ok. But his wounds were kept in that tiny organ near our lungs. I never saw it. Not until the day he was in the hospital.

We waited patiently for a miracle, but we learned that it was almost impossible for recovery to happen. Outside the ICU, we, the one he considered close friends, asked each other what went wrong. Why did he do that? He could have talked to us. We are just here.

But where the hell were we? We were unreachable, focused on our personal stuff and had no time to even reach out to someone who’s so close to our hearts. No time to go that party he arranged for his partner - Even if he begged. No time to understand why he never showed up in that interview – anger just came rushing in. no time to even txt him hello – we were just too tired.

I know, We failed him somehow. I hope you could forgive us josh.

So my advice to the young, sentimental and self absorbed yuppies like me, see to it that before you close your eyes and fret over the things that you had lost, you have phoned a precious friend whom you haven’t spoken for a long time now. Tell them how much they mean to you and that they are loved no matter what. It won’t take a minute to do that. Sure we have our own lives to take care of but who knows, it might be just seconds before that friend gulps a bottle of Tylenol for that never ending quest for remedy, not from the overwhelming physical pain but from the endless nights of remembering how sad it is to be alone.