checklist

Life here on earth is somewhat short. In our present generation, a human being is only allowed to live a maximum of 70 years. Amazingly, the bible even considered a year as a single day. So if we are going to think about it, we have a maximum of 70 days (or even shorter than that) to do what we are supposed to do in this lifetime.

But the sad reality of it all is that we can’t do everything that we hope for. There over a million and one reasons for not being to but id like to make a checklist to remind myself of my goals (and dreams as well). Here it goes:

1. Make my first million on my 23^rd birthday – luckily, this wont be a problem because I’m in an industry where making your first million is possible. Provided that I work hard for it and generate as many sales as possible. So good luck to me.

2. Buy my own car on or before December 2008 – accomplished. Nabangga nga lang sya agad.

3. Have a travel agency – there’s something about this plan that excites me. First are free travel opportunities. Second is the idea of becoming your own boss. I can see that this will be my first business venture. I hope 2009 is the year for that.

4. Write a book – yes. I would love to see my books displayed on national bookstore or fully booked. But one question left is the content. Definitely, anything about sex will be excluded (why am I hearing all those boos? Ok ill reconsider).

5. Be a barista – life. I almost made it. I just have to sign that contract and that’s it. I could have been your good-looking barista in starbucks weslife ( near sm north ) during the wee hours of the night. But I gave it up. I chose to be an active president of a Filipino Chinese org in ust during college.

6. Be a waiter in a class restaurant – I think it’s lovely. I love food. And I get to eat free lunch.

7. Learn photography – it makes me jealous to see all those yuppies holding their slr’s while taking a photo of makahiya plant in the garden. I'd like to try that also.

8. Try extreme sports – the idea of jumping in an airplane makes my eyes glitter with delight.

9. Learn to hip hop –hey, it’s as if those dancers have no bones at all. Plus I think its fun to try dancing with those baggy pants.

10. Learn a new language – since I am a self proclaimed chismoso, it would be fun to eavesdrop and understand the language of nationalities like the Chinese, Korean, African etc. haha. Know what you’re talking about.lalalala.

11. Try culinary arts – my father cooks the best caldereta and my lola makes uber delicious hamonado. Therefore I have a future. I’ll make the best fried egg maybe.

12. Have twin daughters and twin sons – well this will be a miracle if ever. And since I don’t have a girlfriend. How?

13. Receive the letter that I’ve been dying to read. – Where is it?

14. Hangout in the dessert during the night – I don’t know if this is possible because according to books, it’s super cold during night time in the dessert. Well honestly, I’m just after the star filled sky because dessert is a good place to witness that. Plus if I am with my special love, we can get naughty because there’s no one watching only the stars and papa moon. Joke. Holding hands lang ok na.

15. Surf – I think its fun to be on top of tsunami waves.

16. Abs, muscles, nice butt – hey if I’m going to surf, I should have that mind blowing body right. It’s a disaster if people will see me on top of the waves with my beer belly and love handles popping out maliciously. As if shouting “ hoy hoy hoy. Tignan nyo ko!”

17. Meet cool people – artists, poets, and free spirits?

18. Buy my dream house

19. Become a successful entrepreneur –I’ll pave the way for the generations behind me (my future sons and daughters kung meron) so that it will be easier for them. Not solely dependent on multinational firms for financial income.

moving on

“When was your first major heartbreak?” I am blaming Dianne for reminding me about my past relationship. I was playing psychologist to her because she can’t stop thinking about her ex. She asked me all of a sudden how I managed to move on with my past lover. I was caught off-guard. Then streams of thoughts flashed back. The cruel afternoons alone in the old colayco park with my eyes soaked with tears, the pile of food left untouched, the connivance of emptiness, pain, and anger sinking deep inside to my already shattered heart came back to me like it was fresh again.

Then I remembered questioning myself what went wrong when everything seemed perfect and fine. It must be some kind of a joke or a horrible dream not really intended to cross my life. I loved the person the best way I can even beating the odds thinking to myself that I cant be with someone else anymore. But how, in my then perfect and ideal world, did that happen? When all of a sudden, my fairy tale should come to an end faster than how I walk? How can love grow faint abruptly when I was just starting to create dreams about how our life will be in the coming years?

Then anger came in after that. I only have one heart but the person chose to smash it with lame promises of eternity and love. I hate it when the person said that it’s over and there’s no chance to revive everything back. It was something similar to death but then I realized that it was worse than death because when you’re dead, you can’t feel anything. You are lifeless. But what the person did will linger, even if the wounds were healed. It will be an ugly scar- a remnant of a failed relationship. that was my preoccupation. Can’t blame me for that.

Loneliness came in next. Yes I will not have the courage to stay up late at night again because I know that the person will not call anymore—no matter how hard I pray. There will be no more warm afternoons in the comfort of my beloved’s sheets. I just have to content myself embracing the sheer coldness of my pillow—lifeless as it may seem.

Then finally acceptance came. I know that in the next couple of weeks, my brightest star will be holding the warmth of another person’s hand- Squeezing it tightly with love’s grip, occasionally bumping it with soft little kisses. Soon, my love’s lips will utter the same sweet word that I will always long to hear to the new found joy that replaced me in my beloved’s eyes.

It must be some kind of a miracle that I was revived from my deep slumber. I was in my lowest - dejected, forsaken and forever forgotten… A picture of a lifeless being handed down to vultures devoured until the very last piece. But I stood up, slowly embracing my self from the hopelessness that I felt, prayerfully lifting up my shattered heart. Then it happened, a powerful feeling that I can’t even explain. It was like the warm blowing of the monsoon wind and the thousand trumpet calls of angels from the highest heavens. It was like being born again.

It was four years ago. But it seemed like it didn’t happed at all. Funny how God gave me that courage to move on without the person. And now, I can lovingly look back on what happened during those moments when my creator proved to me the resilience of my whole being. I realized that the entirety of my spirit could give that love- to someone who chose to break my heart.

It’s refreshing to proclaim that I loved without expecting much in return. Even more liberating is the fact that after what I’d been through, I managed to love again – even better than before.

I am happy now. And I sincerely thank the person who broke my heart. Because if not for that person, I wont be able to know the true meaning of love.

So how did I manage to move on? I think its faith – I lifted my brokenness to my Creator, confidently assured that he will grant me his peace – and love forever.

That’s what I’m going to say the next time someone asked me the same question.

smiling face

talk about God's magnificence. last december 2 2008, venus, jupiter and the earth's nearest neighbor moon aligned in the sky crreating an image of a happy face. this phenomena will happen again on march 14 2012.

photo

i just want to share this photo.

taken november 19 2008 ( Laiya coco grove batangas )

wishes

1. have my own travel agency.

- free travel opportunities plus the fact that youre earning from it - awesome.

2. buy my own SLR camera.

- cam whoring - sounds fun ayt?

3. get a brokers' license - (five to seven percent commission..that's what ill get after )

- it will make me rich. hooray!

4. buy my own real estate

- it will be the perfect investment when i turn 26.

5. write more

- finding it hard to write again. uber busy.

6. quit smoking

- nicotine will attack me someday. waah!

7. sculp my body

- ill hit the gym soon. want to see a spartan body? wait for it!

8. try culinary arts

- i want to bake the perfect cookie. yum

9. master the art of persuasion

- hmmmn for what? sales of course.

10. be a worship leader

- soon. it's a process

to be continued